Monday, September 04, 2006

Labor Day trip to Devils Den...Near Fordland, MO


Ok...so were sittin around the Roy expanse...and were talkin about abnormalities that we all have on our land. (Like I have this spot in my back yard...where I just can't get grass to grow.) I ask Greg...if my house is covered by Insurance...if a 75 foot Sink Hole swallows up my house...like the one did in Nixa watch the video of it happening here...

And Lotz...says...hey. There is this place called the "devils den" not to far from here...we need to go there sometime. Then we sit around a few more minutes watching the 1993 Miami vs. Florida State game...(that yielded 52 NFL players...mind you) and we say...Hey. Lets go do it today...No time like the present, lets go face the evil or whatever might befall us by going to a secret location, with a 100' drop off into what is called the Devils Den...where is is perported that a farmer threw in a dye filled Hay Bale...and three weeks later it turned up in Table Rock Lake.
There is no better time than the present...we surmise...in the memory of Steve Irwin we saddle up and head out.
well actually...First we go ask our wives...to make sure that it is "OK" with them if we go face this unknown behometh of a crag ripped deep into the earth's crust...next we pour in a little bit more "Liquid Courage" better known at Pina Colada smoothies...(non-alcoholic of course...only because Betty forgot to bring the Rum) ...I digress.

Lotz calls his "Contact" and arranges a rendevous at a certain point on "bobcat road"...where...after a short exchange...we follow his unmarked (camoflagged) vehicle...into the undisclosed location. At a certain point...he parks his vehicle...and comes and gets into ours. "OK...fellas...this is as far as my truck will go...were going to have to take your four wheel drive unit in the rest of the way"...Greg locks in the hubs...and we head out. It is at this point, that our "contact" tells us that ..."we cannott be seen going in to this private property..." and we might have about a 50yd army crawl ahead of us. (NO Problem...half of our group of ruffians are wearing flip-flops, the other half cowboy boots). I guess I really have an ecclectic group of friends...I digress

After a brief amount of work to cover the vehicle...to throw off any would be follower...from our trail (we parked it facing the opposite direction...and across the road from our intended target, out in the middle of what I can only describe as something a-kin to Area 51) We head out on foot. First, we scale an 8' fence...clearly labelled as Private Property...and begin scurring across the ground, hunched over...and in a zig-zag pattern...like we were being fired upon by machine gun nests on the high ground to our left.

Our "contact" told us that if we are caught...to "scatter...they can't catch is all". He also said..."no direct pictures of my face." looking straight at me....My reputation has caught up with me.

As we cross the last razor-wire fence...he informs us..."ok. It is a felony now boys...this is US Govt land...seized because of what we are about to creep up upon..and look down in." Also because so many human remains kept turning up on this here hole...

As we hiked down to the edge of the crevace...I could not help but wonder if this was going to end up like that Jr. High cliff climbing excercise that Steve Boschen and Duane Hoffman led us on...where Mark Schaeffer...and I helped a young man (that was larger than both of us combined) to shinny along a cliff ledge about 8 slippery inches wide...while he dug into the shear rock cliff with his fingernails...to keep from falling to the icy depths of the James River, 40 feet below. This is also the young man...that graces the front of my Frig...after Jeff and Deb sent his photo to us...for Christmas one year...Crack Kills...I digress.

Although it is hard to see in the photos....this is quite a little hole in the ground.

Which has a rich and varied history...that is even is sparking controversy today...

My report...is simply this. Big hole in the ground, yep...it's there....is it the "Devils Den"...obviously not...according to my wife the "Devils Den" is Hooters...and this was no where near any restaurants of ANY kind.
On a scale from 1-10 of lifetime capers I have been a part of...i'll give it a 7.83...not nearly as good as the times that Rog and I were in Vegas...and...I digress.

PS. That is not the "Devils Pool" pictured there either...it is simply Greg's pool...everyone knows the "Devils Pool" is down south of Branson...at Big Cedar...interestingly enough...it is a restaurant too. ...weird! Next...were going to check out that weird non-Grassy spot in my back yard...

7 comments:

LauraD said...

A captivating read, Mark. You had me on the edge of my seat!

HelterShelter said...

So when you guys werent looking I tossed a quarter down into the "den" and this morning I found two dimes and a nickel in the pool. So not only is it connected but it makes change as well!
The tacos were awesome and the house doesnt smell at all! Thanks again!

nb said...

that's one darn good story. i dont care who y'are. tacos were scrumpuous, as was the other 6.5 lbs of food i enhaled.
hands down.....i got to spend labor day with the best group of people God has ever put on this planet.

team bartlett said...

Before I even finished that paragraph I guessed who you were referring to and even had a mental picture of Jeff and Deb's card. Come to think of it, you were in that picture, weren't you? For some reason, my eyes. . kept. . . diverting. . look away. . .look away!!!

Anonymous said...

i am jealous because i wasn't present...that would have been righteous...and the story about the post card filled with crack...well, that guy, for anonimity sake, we'll call him Tony, was a big kid...and how mark & mark helped him along the ledge can only be a DIRECT miracle of God...

islandrider

hillenblogshappywife said...

I read the whole thing in its entirety, and even the links. You are hilarious.

team bartlett said...

Yes, for anonymity's sake, let's call him Tony.
(Islandrider, do I know you?) -Kim